Shifts and Transformations

Time, it seems, has escaped me. When we lose track of ourselves, everything becomes off kilter.
To begin to pull myself back I find solace in e.e. Cummings poems, chai, ritual, the goddess, the god, demons, and darkness.
We all have our way through dark nights of the soul.
We should all honor each others paths through the bleakness.
Always when transformation occurs, there is the pain of change which inevitably brings loss. There is the fear, as well, the fear of stepping our of comfort and into uncertainty.
Who are we, if we are not the definition of ourselves others have come to rely upon? Who are we, when everything about us no longer makes sense?
This is the path that the Three of Wands encourages us to follow:

(artwork by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law)
It is the call to action in the Eight of Scepters

(Artwork: Ian Daniels)
Adventure, change seduces us. We become so lost, so angry, so unsure, that we push ourselves into growth, and irrevocable adventure.
This is metamorphosis. We all experience it. How brave of us when we do not resist, and when we allow ourselves to become something new, bolder, more beautiful, more wise from the pain of the journey.
May we all grow in 2014, may we all find our way through the rabbit hole. And honor the rabbit hole for granting us rebirth.
xoxo

Justice and the Seeker

This New Moon in Libra, and the general energy shift at this time has me thinking a great deal and finding myself needing to put my attention into the heart space instead of the thinking space I find myself clinging to. The Justice card has always been one of those cards in Tarot that makes me feel uncomfortable and pulls me out of the intuitive place and into the analytical, judgmental place as soon as I see it.

I start questioning myself, my actions, my beliefs, and if I am in any way "good" enough for whatever I have in mind when Justice makes her appearance.
And this is the gift Tarot gives us. Our reactions to the cards are such an immediate, telling experience that we can't help but feel and see that their is a message here for us, an aspect of ourselves and our experience we are afraid to really get into. One that we need to get into if we wish to live our lives authentically.
Add to this the fact that I am married to a Libra whose birth card is Justice and you can see this is a theme it is important for me to look at. My resistance to this card is telling and creates further experiences for me to brush up against and incorporate this card and her message into my current reality.
 A lot of people talk about Karma when Justice shows up as well as the Goddess Ma'at. Oh Karma, I really just can't get on the religious bandwagon view of Karma. I choose to believe that our sins and mistakes are really just lessons and experiences we are choosing to grow from and not things that are held against us over and over until we engage in the correct amount of penitent action over the course of many lifetimes to balance the scales. I can however, see the aspect of cause and effect regarding our learning experiences and I choose to focus on this aspect of Karma and the Goddess Ma'at with her scales and feather.

So much of what Justice is sharing with us is about our truths, our lies, our fears, and what keeps us from being our authentic self. A pause for self-examination is required, and then action becomes necessary. True change requires great faith and belief in our self. Justice will help us root out that doubting voice, we must simply be strong enough to truthfully answer her questions and take a good long look at what is inside of us and what we have been and wish to continue creating.
May this new moon bring a breath of fresh air and a shift in focus from others to ourselves.
May Justice guide us to release what no longer serves and start receiving what we deserve.
Happy tarot work everyone!

The Harvest Moon and the Winged Seer

As the full moon's approach nears, I find myself in love.
In love with the earth as she prepares to exhale her last glorious breath before the long slumber of Winter begins, with the air and the elements as they turn sharp, mysterious and fiery. 
 As we prepare to journey within there is a passion that consumes us. I find myself searching lustily for the signs and symbols, for the messages and otherworldly beings as the veil thins and communications become stronger, wilder, closer to the surface. 

For the past two weeks as the weather has finally turned cooler here and the Autumn sweaters, boots, and heels begin to find their way out of back shelves of closets I find myself using the Oracle of the Shapeshifters and the Oracle of Shadows and Light almost exclusively. The whimsical, dark, and knowing fairies and animal guides that make up the cards in these decks (artwork is by the immensely talented Jasmine Becket Griffith) give me clear focused guidance and fill me with inspiration and flights of creative fancy, even when the answers I receive may not be the easiest ones to "hear".
I also find myself reading e.e. Cummings poetry and drinking vats of tea while Vincent naps and I have moments to myself. Books like A History of Witches and Son of Shadows make their appearance on my kitchen table and nightstand. Beeswax candles burn round the clock, and stone people make their presence known so vociferously I find myself conversing with them constantly.
I am filled with passion and creativity and feel so very alive during this time of year. Mabon and Samhain are my favorite sabbats and take on special mystical meaning for me. Preparation begins early and joyfully.
I find I have more clients than the rest of the year over the next three months, and as the Winged Seer proclaims psychic abilities grow and expand for all of us during Autumn.
This moon finds me smitten and reveling, a witch at peace and confidently in tune with the turning of the wheel.
I will leave you tonight with a poem filling me with faery lust this Monday night:

As Is The Sea Marvelous

as is the sea marvelous
from god’s
hands which sent her forth
to sleep upon the world

and the earth withers
the moon crumbles
one by one
stars flutter into dust

but the sea
does not change
and she goes forth out of hands and
she returns into hands

and is with sleep….

love,
    the breaking

of your
        soul
        upon
my lips

--e.e. Cummings

Corn Moon...YOLO....Water

This past Sunday, the night before the full corn moon, while the moon herself was void-of-course, I had the joy of experiencing my first paddle board excursion on Lake Winnipesaukee. My wonderful boss treated her employees to an end of summer lesson, and I have to say I am hooked.
Something about the day, which had been hectic and sad, with lots to do, an overwhelming sea of chores to accomplish etc, vanished as soon as I put my feet on the board for the first time and pushed out into the water. Starting on my knees, allowing myself to take my time discovering how to transition to standing learning the pull of the waves beneath my feet.
I thought to myself, this is how it feels to be a mermaid. So at home with the water, gliding gracefully through the black depths, the warmth and moistness of the water itself tasted on every inhaled breath, cleansing the body of stuck emotion with every exhale.
The sunset was a cascade of violent pinks and muted lavenders, the beauty of the experience was that we were allowed to wander to our hearts content. I found myself following the moon as she rose mysteriously in the night sky, wrapped in mist and softly whispering the words to let go to us all. To leave cares and family roles far behind us and simply be. I breathed full, deep breaths for the first time that entire weekend and reveled in the joy of being alone for 2 hours, alone with the moon and the water, gazing as osprey's and other birds and water beings wound their way through the approaching night.
I knew that I was celebrating my esbat in the best way any witch can, truly with nature, a part of her, communing with the elements, the moon, and Isis herself in a fluid, perfect way.
Everything became clear for those few hours, pain was let go of, priorities put in perspective, and the joy of my path, and the joy of my body moving through the water, created a delightful healing experience and extremely spiritual moments.
There is something truly beautiful in sharing this experience with a group of women who have allowed you, and themselves, to be in the moment and be completely themselves.
This corn moon has been visceral and active, pulling truths and emotions and thoughts right to the surface, I think for many of us there has been no hiding with this moon, and I treasured these glorious moments with the Goddess, in many ways they prepared me for my experiences on the day of the full moon herself.

If you're interested in experiencing paddleboard yourself, our teacher for this excursion was Michele with Full Moon Paddleboard, I couldn't have asked for a better facilitator:
http://www.fullmoonpaddleboard.com/Full_Moon/Full_Moon_Events.html
If you're in the Lakes Region, you'll love her lessons and excursions!
What has been your experience with this full moon in Aquarius? How have you chosen to observe the turning of the wheel this week?

Long Summer Walks and Scrying Bowls

 This Sunday my family and I took a long walk on the public nature trail in our little resort town. The sun was shining and the sky was such a bright blue we simply had to be outside.
 Here's the thing about the end of summer. I love it. I love it because it means Autumn is right around the corner. Autumn is my favorite season, summer is most definitely not. There's something about the melancholy of the end of the warm season in New Hampshire that makes me feel rejuvenated and gloriously alive.
 Our walk was long and blissfully quiet. Little One fell asleep after only a few minutes and Husband and I allowed ourselves to simply walk without needing to talk or unburden ourselves with trivial, mundane concerns. I found myself falling deeply in love with the woodland and swamp that line the natural trail, and yearning to step off of the safe path and venture deep into the unknown woods, talking to the trees and the stones, exploring the undergrowth and allowing the wind to inform me of the next step to take.
 I did not do this.
 And I had to ask myself as I was walking sedately home on the safe trail why I did not. In fact I think the trees asked me this question softly and with a long sigh. Remember when you were little and you could get  lost in the woods behind your house for an entire day, away from everything with only your brother for company? Remember the joy of being free and daring?
 When I got home and I had not listened to the trees I felt the disappointment grow deeper inside of me.
Yet, I think I had to feel that disappointment to find the strength to know that next Sunday I will step off of the beaten path and let the forest decide where my feet will go.
The beautiful thing about my spiritual path is that even with the disappointment i felt within myself, there was still the joy of communion with nature beings and getting lost within the realms.
Here are a group of stones and trees that decided to grow together discovered on our walk:


On Saturday at work I had the joy of being gifted an incredible scrying bowl created by master artist Sally Cornwell of Sky Song Pottery and Winnipesaukee Chocolates( http://www.winnipesaukeechocolates.com/. I have been searching for the perfect scrying bowl for over two years and as soon as she placed this beautiful bowl in my hands I knew she had found me at last. I am so excited to begin working with my intuition in this new way and will share this journey with you all. Here is the bowl on my sacred space altar:


May the Dark of the Moon open your eyes, and help you walk your path boldly.

"Friday.. I'm in Love"

It's funny, it's afternoon and the sun has finally decided to show himself, early August and I am sitting here at my kitchen table while my little one plays on the floor and my dog, Talula, tries to be naughty and sneak a bite of freshly baked blueberry muffin, the blueberries a gift from a dear friend, plucked tenderly from the bush only yesterday.  Amanda Palmer plays quietly as we all dream our own end of summer dreams today ( song: the thing about things live).
I really don't know why it has taken me so long to start a blog.
A large part of my life's work has been healing, healing myself and helping others to feel empowered to heal themselves. This work often occurs through reiki, the cards, goddesses, and intuition, even through the flick of a makeup brush into a tilted cat eye on occasion.
Also, through poetry. I started writing poetry when I was very young, hiding the poems in notebooks designated for notes from the many meetings I had to attend due to my parent's dogmatic religion.
These words strewn along pages were seldom shared and often covered over. The writing became intense and such a huge yet secret baring of my soul that sharing it with others seemed impossible. A part of me still clings to that old belief, that my written words must remain coded and hidden.
So today as part of my own healing I begin to write and share, I begin to open up in a completely new way.
And the stones whisper to me that it is so, it must be so.

(Artist: Sarah Golish)